Well, the house is quiet. Tim left really early this morning on his flight, and Gail just left a bit ago, going to Elizabeth’s honors program at MC. I have the house to myself, and it’s very quiet.
I learned several years ago to try to make the best of these times when Tim travels. They are very few and far between, and although my first instinct is to just miss him terribly, I have tried to be optimistic and make the best of it. I try to read more when he’s gone. I stay on the computer more when he’s gone. Normally I try to watch “girl movies”, but I doubt I will do that much this time as there is a lot of mindless TV on tonight (Tuesday) that I really enjoy. 😛
I do really well during the day. It always just seems like any other day. It’s the nights that are the hardest for me. Before we lost Sally, I always felt safe and protected even when Tim was away. Sally always knew when Tim was gone. She would get excited, like she did every day, about 5 or 5:30 PM, as she would start pacing around, waiting for Tim to come home. She would finally give up after about an hour, sensing that he wasn’t going to come home tonight. Then, she seemed to realize it was just us. She would morph into “Uber-Dog” — heightened senses and super-duper guard dog mode. I loved it most of the time, although, it did get a bit frustrating sometimes. She would bark and growl at everything, every little sound or movement. It made me a bit jumpy, but I did feel very safe and protected.
When Sally died, Tim went to Dallas just a week or two afterwards and that was a horrible trip for me. I was still grieving so much for Sally, and then he left me, and I felt so very alone. It’s gotten better since then, but I still miss Sally. And I miss Tim when he’s gone. I am just really glad that he doesn’t have to travel often, or regularly. And I’m glad that the trips are always short. I can handle one or two nights, from time to time. He went hunting some this past winter and was gone overnight or two nights, and I actually sort of enjoyed it while he was gone. I watched a lot of girl movies and ate a lot of girlie food (popcorn and cereal for supper!). That’s what I classify as “making the best of it”! 😀
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