Well, it was three weeks ago yesterday that we lost my precious dog, Beau. I still miss him terribly. He was so very loved. I talk about him all the time, and I think Tim is tired of it. I have looked on PetFinder and found a dog in a nearby shelter that I want to go see, he reminds me of Beau. But Tim is not ready. He wants to rebuild the fence. He wants to work in the yard. He says a dog will tie us down while we go back and forth to work on my dad’s house, cleaning it out and getting it ready to sell. We can’t go on vacation at the drop of a hat if we have a dog. He has a hundred reasons, but I just want a new dog to fill the humungous hole left in my heart by having my Beau go so fast and so suddenly. Sigh. I know he’s right, but still. I want my Beau back, or I want a new puppy to love.
It was three years ago this morning that I woke up with tinnitus. I hear it now, screeching away. I’m grateful that I hear it, and I hope that I never lose my hearing. I’ve learned to live with it, most of the time. I can now sleep most nights, although there are times when I wake up, hear it, and can’t get back to sleep. I’d like to think that’s part of the whole middle age insomnia thing. I know I’ll have tinnitus as long as I’m on this earth, but I have learned to be ok with that.
It’s been three days since I’ve seen my dad. That’s the longest he’s gone since we moved him up here in mid-February. It’s still been an ongoing thing with him. He can’t seem to catch a break. First was the kidney infection, dehydration that caused his fall. Then after we moved him into the assisted living facility, he was starting to get better, and he got a bad stomach virus. They shut the whole place down for several days until they could get everyone semi-healthy. Then he got an upper respiratory infection. Then, my sister Gail and I took him to the eye doctor for a steroid shot in his eye (an ongoing thing, he’s been seeing a retina specialist for about 18 months). The shot seemed to have gone ok (it’s an implant thing, a one time only thing, thank goodness), but he scratched his eye with the gauze patch they put on. So, a corneal abrasion necessitated 3 more trips back to the doctor to get his eye checked and repatched. He had a patch on his eye for about 5 days and he was so tired of it, and I don’t blame him. Now, the home health nurse says he is probably anemic. We just can’t seem to get him well and feeling better. I’ve stayed away this week, giving him time to feel better and try to get settled in. We think he’s in a great place, they have lots of activities and things for the residents to do, but my dad is not a social person. He has no interest in bingo, or card games, or movies or chapel or devotions, or going on the trips they schedule, or any of the other activities they plan. I keep hoping he will, but so far, he’s just not interested. He is getting therapy about 4 times a week, 2 times OT and 2 times for PT, which should help him. And he does get out of his room some, and go sit in the lobby and people watch, which most of the residents do, LOL!
Easter is this weekend, really early this year. We’ve had cold weather all week, very unusual for us this late in March. 29 at night and 50’s during the day have been awesome. I’ve worn my thick hoodies, snuggled under a big quilt at night, drunk hot tea and coffee and cocoa, trying to milk what last little bit I can out of winter. Spring is coming, and Tim will be gone a lot playing golf. He ordered a new bag and it came in today, so he’s really pumped up to get back to playing. He’s been doing P90X since right before Christmas and he’s doing great. He’s down nearly 25 pounds and looks very slim to me. He still says he has a long way to go, and I keep telling him, if he loses much more, he’ll be thinner than me! LOL! 😀
